A Trauma-Informed Perspective
You might have heard the saying “delayed obedience is disobedience” in church, and while it sounds like solid advice at first, it might not always fit everyone’s experience, especially if you’ve been through trauma. Delays don’t necessarily mean you’re being rebellious. Sometimes, taking your time is exactly what you need. For those who have dealt with trauma, quick reactions—or the lack of them—can be a sign of healing rather than defiance. When you’re healing and growing in your faith, moving from automatic reactions to more mindful responses often means taking a “holy pause” to really hear what God is saying.
Behavioral science backs this up. In The Body Keeps the Score, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk explains how trauma impacts our brains and emotions, making it hard to deal with stress and urgency. So, if you’ve had trauma, it makes sense that you might need to slow down to discern God’s voice more clearly. James 1:19 says, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” This reminds us that taking time to listen can actually help us follow God’s lead better. And Psalm 46:10 tells us, “Be still, and know that I am God,” showing that pausing to reflect is part of a faithful response.
Leadership and emotional maturity also play a role here. Aubry Malphurs, in Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders, points out that understanding and addressing emotional needs is key to effective leadership. It’s about being empathetic and recognizing that everyone’s journey is different. Kouzes and Posner, in The Truth About Leadership, highlight that good leaders inspire and support others, knowing that reactions aren’t always straightforward.
So, if someone seems slow to respond, it might not be about disobedience but rather about processing and/or healing. Instead of rushing to judgment, let’s create a space where people can take their time, heal, and grow in their faith. Remember, true obedience often means taking a thoughtful approach, not just jumping into action. Before you offer up your actions, make sure you’re giving God your heart and allowing for some genuine reflection and growth.
Authors, V. (2008). Holy Bible (NIV). Zondervan.
Kouzes, J. M., & Posner, B. Z. (2010). The Truth about Leadership: The No-fads, Heart-of-the-Matter Facts You Need to Know. John Wiley & Sons.
Malphurs, A. (2018). Developing emotionally mature leaders: How Emotional Intelligence Can Help Transform Your Ministry. Baker Books.
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